BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
