who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm like, not good at living.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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