theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
