wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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