people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
PANTIES FOUND
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
