real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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