Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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