idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
