I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
