so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
