i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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