You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
