Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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