i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I am one with the molecules
My butt remains clenched, sir.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
