You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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