I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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