I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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