so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
