Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
