Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize