no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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