OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
