Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
