i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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