the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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