Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize