I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
