I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
