So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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