Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize