The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
