You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
ok first of all what the fuck
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize