That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
