so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I am available for nakedness
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
