.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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