Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
