By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
