We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
