The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
