Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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