I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
