i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
