I wish my penis had an off switch
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize