A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
you made out with another girl for some wings
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
