Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize