I CAN MOONWALK!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
