Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
