What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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