no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
