Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
