the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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