i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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