She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
