And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
