I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
