sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
