I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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