Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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