it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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