The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
