I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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