help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
