it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
