In the future we'll all be gay
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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