i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
